oL aBoU+ T!n2

how u can control ur emotions

2004-09-29T15:06:00.000-07:00

HOW TO CONTROL EMOTIONS
This would give you guides on how to control your emotions towards your better-half, friends, officemates and all the people around you,especially your boss.

The rules of practicing galing langit, ugaling kaaya-aya':

#1 Ang naunang magalit ang may karapatang magalit. Pag naunahan ka nang galit niya, tumahimik ka na lang muna.

#2 Walang taong nag-aaway mag-isa. Pag hindi kayo sumagot o pumatol, titigil din daw ang taong nakikipag- away sa inyo.

#3 Ang taong galit, 'bingi.' If someone is angry, wala raw pinakikinggan, so, don't try to explain and fight back. Hindi ka niya iintindihin dahil wala siyang naririnig kundi ang sarili nya.

#4 Ang taong galit, 'abnoy.' Ayon sa pastor, Biblical daw ito... because the Lord said when He was crucified, "Father, patawarin mo sila dahil hindi nila alam ang kanilang ginagawa." Modern term for these kinds of people are abnoys, so you better not get angry para huwag kang matawag na abnoy. You should also know and realize that the persons who make your day bad are jewel, because you need them for you to mature. Hangga't andyan daw sila at kinaiinisan mo, ibig sabihin, immature ka pa. God will not take away those people; it's for you to take away your bad feelings towards them. You'll know na mature ka na pag dumating 'yung time na hindi ka na naiinis sa mga taong ito because you have learned to accept them and to have patience with them.

#5 Finally, the best part of this is to tell yourself na, because of this person, "I will grow mature," and that DAHIL SA CONTRIBUTION NIYA SA MATURITY MO, KUKUNIN DIN SYA NI LORD...

2004-08-11T13:34:00.000-07:00

I’ve been out for some time. Carrying this misery of mine. I just don’t know myself now. Why am I like this? Is it because of the cold treatment and bein taken for granted by my mom. Is it because I cant accept that im a professional bum at the moment? Is it because I still remember him, not yet have been forgiven him, not yet accepted what has real happened? I just cant take it that im suffering so today. Having my SPS every week. Being sad everyday day. Being lonely.. a lot has been offering their kindness of loving me once more, willing to take the risk, but also, some has failed and wasn’t able to fulfill their promise. But why cant I accept their love for me? I just cant. I have made a lot of mistakes in the past. Ive been giving too much of myself and taking for granted my own happiness. But im sad.. what a life. I really cant explain it..
My household head always asked me, “Tin, wats the status of your heart? Are you happy? What are your concerns?”. Oh I miss that ate Elena. From the moment shaun has been courting, to my accounting crisis, breaking up with him, then theres Aubrey, and there’s Franco. Elena has taught me a lot of things. But when I ask myself now, the same question, I’m so empty, I don’t even know wat the status of my heart is. Im thirsty of something I cant have or cant do. Theres a lot of it.. specially going to church and attending yfc gatherings. I crave for those.. it makes my life normal and clean..
Going back, I guess the problem is really me, as my famous line in break ups: “it not you, it’s me.. you have done nothing, you’ve been so nice.. I need time for myself.. sorry..” I thought it was just an excuse for I found someone new, but it wasn’t, it was true. I’m totally not ready for a new relationship. So please, bear with me..
I wanted to fix my life first. Give me time.. my life means the whole of it.. not just a part or a percentage, but everything!! My family, career, friends, and most importantly personal interests. I wanna have fun, enjoy and most importantly to be happy.. that’s my only happiness and wish for myself, BE HAPPY.. true happiness is coming from the heart, seeing it, feeling it, and you have the freedom of experiencing so.
Tats told me this morning, tin its such a blessing, there are meteor showers today, its my birthday, yet its i love you day.. i just hope i cud be as blessed as she is.. i know God will give me that happiness. I know You will. jst be strong and PATIENT tin.. we can do it.. mwah.

ouch, its jst so me..

2004-08-10T19:58:00.000-07:00

... letting go of a person u've just learned to love
... reminiscing the good times u shared together
... shielding ur heart to love somebody
... trying to hide what u really feel
... trying to hide the tears that involuntarilyfall from ur eyes
... loving a person too much
... giving up someone u never thought of givingup
... having the right love at the wrong time
... taking the risk to fall in love again
... hiding ur relationship from someone else
... controlling ur feelings to avoid hurting a friend
... thinking of him every waking and sleeping moment knowing all the while that he never eventhinks a single thought of you...
... letting go, because everytime you see the person,you only fall deeper
... falling inlove with someone you didnt mean tofall inlove with
... finding the perfect guy
...with only one prob
...he doesnt love you...

... helping the one you love court your friend
... seeing the one you love crying for someone else
... the waiting also hurts like hell
... having to hear "... I've met someone"
... agreeing to him wish to 'just be friends'.
... asking his freedom back bcoz 'he'd behappier with her'
... asking u to 'forget that everything happened'and be 'normal' friends again.
... hearing that u're treated as a big sis
... sharing his future plans for the gurl with you
.... u stopped being friends bcoz his gf asked him to
.... being denied in front of people....
... he told u he'd be leaving u to return to his ex (d one he left 4 u!)
... breaking someone's heart... being with someone you can't actually love..
.... pretending you don't love a person whom you actually love...
... being in love...
... letting go even if you really don't want to...
... having no right to say you are hurting,because it was your decision
... seeing the person you love hurt because ofyou
...and not being able to help that person...
... having the courage to say I LOVE YOU to the person you love and finding out afterwards that things will never be the same again when he/shedoesnt treat you with the same closeness as before
... having to face the fact that someone is capable of completely destroying the wall that you have set for yourself, leaving you weak and vulnerable admitting that you love someone despite his imperfections
... finding out that the more you try to hate her/him, the more you end up loving her/him, perhaps even more than before...
... Sharing the one you love with SOMEBODYelse....."
... making a promise....and realizing that when the time has come for that promise to bedelivered....the commitment is no longer there...
... fighting for that one thing that would make you happy
... that is, holding on to a person who can not guarantee you his/her commitment unless he/shefixed himself/herself
...then, you are lefthanging for the moment
...then he/she says, time will tell
... but you still decided to hope in him/her and trust him/her
... PRETENDING you're OK when inside you're dying...
... PRETENDING to be strong.
... and RECOGNIZINGyour weakness
... lying in bed each night, thinking of that special person you can never have
...telling u lies where he'd been when actually, he was with a 'new friend' or an 'oldflame'
... holding back only to find out when it's too late, you both felt the same way, but were only scared to lose each other so much that you didn't let the feelings out
... realizing how stupid your mistakes were that led to your break-up.
... the thought that this guy, used to really love you and you loved him as well but you didn't give enough and he gave up on you
... the hardest thing about love - believing it exists.

HE DOESNT LOVE YOU THAT MUCH

2004-08-09T09:12:00.000-07:00

During what women believe to be the start of a budding romance, certainty about where the relationship is going is never questioned. To us, "it's in the bag" without necessarily saying this out loud.

He calls, he tells me, he misses me, asks me out often, is relentlessly sweet and thoughtful. I am always on cloud nine and unapologetically unable to wipe the grin off my face. I am in love with him and although he hasn't said so yet, I am sure he loves me back.

Herein lies the tragedy.

With men, until he hasn't asked you to be his girlfriend, you are not on safe ground. No matter how few the minutes are between his text messages or his phone calls, even if he has tried to hold your hand, carefully pick off the eyelash from under your eye, and wipe the crumb that was perched on your upper lip, assume that he just wants to be friends. Assume otherwise and you'll be in for a great big heartbreak. I am not trying to build a community of skeptics and cynics through this column but to warn all the women out there to tread the waters carefully before jumping in. I am your willing guide in your journey through the abyss of relationship. I have been the confidante of so many men all these years that I know how their minds work. I know what they'll do next. I know what they want...because they tell me.

Men are almost formulaic- especially those who have remained single after 25. When faced with the same given in the same situation, no matter where they come from, they will all do the same thing.

Enter the questions women love to ask: (1) Why hasn't he called me the past few days? (2) IF HE LIKES BEING WITH ME SO MUCH, WHY DOESN'T HE LEAVE HIS GIRLFRIEND FOR ME?

As much as we would like to fall back into thinking that men are idiots and need a little shove into the right direction, I advise you to please keep your hands where they are. Do not text, call or make a bigger fool of yourself. There is just one answer to all three questions:
HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU ENOUGH. :(

Let's take each situation one at a time. He hasn't called you the past few days... Women will immediately assume that something's wrong. His cellphone is off, he is sick, he got into an accident, he's upset with me etc. We spend hours trying to think of what could possibly be preventing him from calling us. Once we come up with the most logical answer, e.g. he is sick, we decide to text him. We say to ourselves, "okay lang for me to text him, at least he'll think that I care about him and that I'm thoughtful. Plus, once lang naman to e. After this, i'll never initiate texting." More brazen women would come right out, all the guy and ask, "Why haven't you called me?" Whenever my women friends tell me they did this, I visibly cringe and have to stop myself from hitting them over the head.

You see, men's initial feelings for a woman are not usually carved in stone. How they feel about you is very much like writing on the sand. You have to be careful so that they don't change their minds about you. My guy friends who confide in me (voluntarily) have the same facial statement when they tell me about the girl who asked them that question, "Why haven't you called me?" They look like they have the heebie-jeebies.

They freak out and are this close to complaining about this. They haven't called you because they don't feel like it. They might feel like it later but at the moment they don't so they won't. They are aware you exist and don't need you to remind them about it. They will let your first call go this time but already, they are leaning toward " not feeling like calling you" on a long-term basis

2004-07-29T23:21:00.000-07:00

just wen will of this end? i short moment of fun, of happiness, then later a triple times more or sacrifices, depression, down pulling, hurting days..
arent you all tired of all of this? cant u see it? it doesnt work? im so fed up.. im so pissed off.. im so over this.. every time I think of it, its jst so unpredictable. I know there are mishaps in my choice of words, but this is just what I think, what runs in my mind. And it may be because im being attacked by my worse illness, it’s the SPS.. the very rare illness one could ever have. Specially those who are loved and have freedom, and most of all, experiences the true meaning of life.
If you were my mother, or any of my parents, will you be proud of me? Well, if I were, I will be so really proud of being someone connected to a person like me. Yes, I admit, im not the perfect person or daughter a parent would ask for. But hell, we are all humans and also make mistakes, im sure you did also, didn’t you?!
But its not the mistakes or floss you had, you must look at the bigger picture, yes look at other people, but when you do so, think of the better side. Compare it to where you might be proud of.
Now I tell you, for example, you were my parents: “ hi, you know what, you just don’t care for me! All you cared about was YOURSELF, the PEOPLE AROUND, what they might think of, etc etc.. have you ever thought of how your own family would feel? If I am enjoying my life? .. yes, its not that you were not beside me all the time. But you know what, I feel the real life when I am far by your side. And I am supposed to be happy when you were coming and be together again even for once in a while.. but no, I admit that I get excited some times, coz I was hoping will turn out just fine, and change our lives, live a new life, etc etc.. Whenever that time comes, I always pray to the Lord: Lord, im sorry for all I have done, but pls, I hope everything will be fine during their stay here, and give us a new life’. I always prayed for peace in our family.. I even promise or trade things with God just to give me that wish. But I guess, I always mess up that’s why God thinks I don’t deserve any of those simple wishes. But still, I know God wont ever leave me, he gave me lots of friends, talents to keep connected with other people and earn their love and concern I have never felt with my fuckin own family. I mean, what wrong with us? Are we really that broken? I know, in fact we are not broke, but the FAMILY.. I don’t feel like calling this a family. I don’t want to have a family no more if this is just the meaning of it. I give up. If I cant even fix my own family, how wud I be able to have one which I want it to be. See the summary and lesson and theory of all of these?! Its NO BOYFRIEND, even after January, I know I could make it! NO FAMILY, NO HAPPINESS, NO PEACE. I think that’s just how life is. Time out na muna ako.. give up talaga.. ive been here for almost 2 months, but I fuckin give up baby.. I don’t want it like this.. I quit!

2004-07-27T15:08:00.000-07:00

Loving SomeoneSometimes, in our relentless efforts to find theperson we love WE FAIL TO RECOGNIZE AND APPRECIATE THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE US. We miss out on so many beautiful things and simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns. Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of words for you will find rewarding happiness not with the man you love but the man who loves you more.The best lovers are those who are capable of loving from a distance, far enough to allow the other person to grow, but never too far to feel the love deep within your being. To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own HAPPINESS without expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but it is also setting yourself free from all fears, bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart.Do not let the bitterness rare away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather let you grow with wisdom in bearing it. YOU MAY HAVE FOUND PEACE IN JUST LOVING SOMEONE FROM A DISTANCE NOT EXPECTING ANYTHING IN RETURN. But be careful, for this can sustain life BUT CAN NEVER GIVE ENOUGH ROOM FOR US TO GROW. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today.There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon become a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just friendship, or the feelings he might have for u is just too far from how you love him. We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves.You don't have to be bitter on love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. DON'T LET YOUR HEART RUN YOUR LIFE, BE SENSIBLE AND LET YOUR MIND SPEAK FOR ITSELF. LISTEN NOT ONLY TO YOUR FEELINGS BUT TO REASON AS WELL.Always remember that IF YOU LOSE SOMEONE TODAY, IT MEANS THAT SOMEONE BETTER IS COMING TOMORROW: If you lose love that doesn't mean that you failed in love. Cry, if you have to, but make it sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime."WHEN YOU LOSE SOMEONE... AND YOU THINK YOU WERE THE ONE WHO LOVED MOST, BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU...HE LOST MORE. For someday you can love someone the way that you loved him...BUT HE WILL NEVER BE LOVED AGAIN THE WAY THAT YOU DID.""Many people will walk in and out of your life butonly true friends will leave footprints in your heart"

2004-07-19T08:24:00.000-07:00

days have passed. a lot has happened. 1st, my spanish classes are ongoing. my teacher is a hell of a mexican. he's cool but lazy.. hehhehehe.. then i met a lot of pips here in cali.. awee in there, w/ joy and michelle, and other guy friends. then yno and mike.. who treated me for spiderman 2!! my online friends who are always there for me, bry n jep. not to mention my loyal bsba-2 and YM friendships.. hehhehehe.. and who would forget EJ.. whew! lakas tama pare..

2004-06-25T09:11:00.000-07:00

todays june 25, friday.. 9am d2 cali..masya namn so far d2 sa cali, its jst tht kung minsan nakakainis c mama.. paulit ulit, pbunot hair, etc.. sana she wud give me a life.. i really want to work na.. grabe! but stil, i enjoy namn coz magstart na tmrw ung spanish class ko.. haayy.. excited nako.. sana maging ok lahat!

2004-06-10T21:19:00.000-07:00

We had breakfast at IHOP early morning.. then went to wal mart bought light bulb then at super target to buy this adapters. I paid for teresas pants though..

I got my phone working now.. im using d T300 sony ericsson.. we’re just waiting for theresa’s dance.. it’ll be later this evening.. I hope everything will be alryt and fine.. its kinda scary to see people fight in here. Nicole and her brother had earlier this morning at breakfast. While Theresa and tita tess had also an argument last night.. but everythings cool! That’s what I like around here.. mwah..

2004-06-09T19:18:00.000-07:00

I spoke with ate jing, archie, kath and jay.. archie 3-wayed me with kath and hell I miss them a lot.. but everythings fine actually.. then this guy named Jay is a family friend of theresa’s and he’s from marikina and im kinda scared to see him tmrw coz he’s coming at the dance and wants to see me.. lets just see..

2004-06-06T18:17:00.000-07:00

It was my flight to US... itinerary, MLA-LAX, LAX-ATL, ATL-SAT
At my first flight, I met Lilis, she was an Indonesian-Chinese lady... she was very kind and interesting. We talked about our experiences here and there. She used to study in Arizona State University 2years ago. I don’t understand well her course but it’s about management. And then when we arrived in LA, she accompanied me until we got out of the airport, she went to terminal 1 and me terminal 5... It was a long walk then but I managed...
When I was in Delta terminal, I immediately called mama, Ian (again) and Milan (again?!) hehhehe... natatae nako dude! Ayun, check-in and managed to poo poo na rin.. After that, I ate first at McDonalds, it was really great, upsized mga drinks, and damn it was really big servings!!! Luckily I got my coins there so tinawagan ko c archie after... he was kinda kind naman and all... then I took the flight, I was tired, another 4 hours on plane.. They gave pretzels minis for snacks... My seatmate was more interesting this time. We’ve got limited time, he was a Taiwanese, then later this Florida old guy changed seats with him, he took pictures of the sunrise and me!! Hehhehehe... He’s kinda cute and kind and all... When we were about to leave the plane, he gave his card, his name was Kenny Cheng,a reporter in Taiwan for PC HOME!!! Gosh, iv been reading that magazine for years! And we left the plane. I’ll to reach him when I get a chance. I hope he enjoy his stay here in US.. Then to my next flight I met a somewhat preacher/priest and he reads PDL too... whats great about him is that he has finished it already and just reading it all over again.. An on my right was a dentist making beads... Very expensive ones! It was to fight her depression. She was restricted to work her profession because she became allergic to the chemicals. She was a pity but good thing for her she found an outlet for her time and problem.. I hope she be happy in the future..

And now, I arrived in San Antonio, when I was on the escalator, tita tess and Theresa were already there waiting for me! And taking pictures of me.. they gave me a bunch of fusia roses and 3 balloons! How sweet!!! Mwah! Then we went to IHOP for breakfast, I wasn’t able to finsh to huge Colorado omelette back there but we just made it TO GO… then we went home drop things off and arrange it all up.. chose clothes, mga pamana na nmn ni Theresa sakin.. grabe andami! Hehehhe.. tapos nag rest lang kami saglit.. tapos we went to a mall, to buy Theresa’s pants and talked to her navy recruiter, then afterwards we went to EXCEL nails.. nagpamanicure and pedicure sila.. then it rained! They were all worried about their Burberry bags!!! Hehehehh… then went home again, I was exhausted, tired and all, so I took a rest, watch a DVD and had my rest. When I woke up repeat d DVD half way again and then Roland and Theresa arrived. I tutored them for a while then dinner and we went out for the supermarket.. and Rolen slept here because Theresa lost his keys, he cant open the door. We slept like 2-4am!!! I woke up after 5am because of the phone rings, etc.

2004-05-29T07:47:00.000-07:00

it was so tiring, i woke up like 6am.. i woke milan para sa summit nia.. 2day po yun til tmrw..its a leadership training for all yfc metro leaders.. sector head sia!

then sleep onti uli.. then called up reish and liz.. fortunately pumayag sila to accompany me to greenhills sa pagbili ng mga bags.

dmating us sa greenhils like mga 1045 in the morning.. bought a lot of bags and other stuff.. it was fun talaga.. yet tiring.. pagdating ng mga hapon, super pagod nako.. low batt ika-nga.. haaayyy... bait talaga ni reish.. pumyag pa sia na kunin namin ung college ring ko, kahit nagkaligaw ligaw na nmn kami. hehhehe.. d na po kami nakapag isaw.and another funny thing about it is that, c liz, ung purpose nia to buy some shirts for pao, e ni isa ata e d sia nkabili! hehhehe.. puro blouse nia..

then umuwi na me.. masakit na po puson ko.. reish spoke w/ manang, pero d ko alam, bahala na.. i hope makakuha sila ng nice na makakasama sa haws.
nagrest me for a few minutes, then nagpalit para sa misa supposedly.. sagala nga..

d ko na tlaga kaya knina.. d ko man lang naumpisahan ung mass, umuwi nako.. pero nakita ko ung parade, ung sagala.. wala lang.. ano pa ba.. anne and bombo called.. they were really nice and sweet to care about me.. haaaayyy. its so great talaga to have some friends like i have right now.. i thank the lord for that! mwah..

ngyon, i feel better na.. la na dysmenorrhea.. saya.. and kahit namn na meron , ok lang.. ang importante, meron ako! waaahh..

2003-12-16T06:45:00.000-08:00

kktapos lang po ng simbang gabi.. first simbang gabi.. i cud say, i missed d choir so much.. todo sing namn ang lola.. hhehe, tmrw, 2am dapat gsing na, 3am kelangn magvocalize for d 4am mass. last nyt, i went to mapua and dlsu.. ayun naghintay lang ako, at sa paghhintay ko wla akong napala.. hay nako.. life.. love koto!

2003-12-15T07:50:00.000-08:00

kahapon dec 14, d natuloy pagpunta ko kila bee.. almost maghapon me online.. then watch tv.. then church.. i wasnt able to visit d rehearsal na rin sa gloria 2.. sayang.. today, late n nmn ako for d GA ng jpics.. ciao!

2003-12-13T22:38:00.000-08:00

Today, December 14, 2003.. d me natulot sa send off.. sayang.. gusto ko talaga maglaro for metrocon.. kaso may class me nung try outs.. tapos 2day, ate gene is sick, i cant come.. hindi rin me nakapunta service nila bee kc napuyat me sa kakapanood ng HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS.. its kinda nice namn.. hmmm... still, im in a dillemma of whther il b continuing my choir or stop na..love ko choir, pero its d time that hinders me.. thats it.. bahala na, later baka il go to church w/ besty..